TL;DR
Why, hello there my fellow misfits, mavericks & misanthropes. And welcome to Thinking Out Loud… a newsletter with no real publishing schedule, nor a particularly unifying theme. I write whatever I want, whenever I want, and just hope you stick around for the ride.
Today I’d like to talk about why I don’t especially enjoy the human species.
I sincerely believe that far too many people don’t actually understand the importance of truth, don’t even care to know why they believe what they believe, and actively live most of their lives in direct opposition to critical thought and logical reasoning.
I’m not claiming to be perfect – far from it – but it’s incredibly frustrating to live in a world where most people simply refuse to give much (or any) thought to what they believe, or why.
Yet, these blood-pumping flesh-sacks are more than happy to spew massive quantities of incoherent, garbled nonsense in a blind, frothy, misplaced mess of emotional outrage.
They have no desire to argue reasonably regarding important subject matter; their minds have already been reduced to mush by a society that rewards obedience and punishes rational enquiry to status quo dogma.
Standing up and speaking out is difficult. Therefore, many people are more than satisfied to live in compliance with groupthink, and have their minds made up for them. They are devoid of any and all independent thought and are, thus, living life on other people’s terms.
They are told what to believe, how to behave and what they are allowed to say… and they seem to not really care either which way.
How pathetic!
How fucking tragic!
This is a comfortable life, but it’s fascinating how blissful ignorance like this can so rapidly morph into a life of unbearable, inescapable suffering.
We really need to ask ourselves if we arrived at certain conclusions ourselves, or if we were simply convinced by default; because it resonated with us on a purely emotional level… or because the majority of those around us believe it to be true.
That’s not to say that we can’t agree with the crowd on some things, or that popular opinion is rendered automatically problematic by virtue of the fact that most people are idiots… but humanity’s stupidity indeed lies in the unconditional haste with which we are willing to both agree with, and even defend, the status quo position.
I Actually Fucking Hate People!
I know, I know… we’re not supposed to say shit like that.
But it’s true!
Saying it out loud makes me feel uncomfortable, but that’s only because of how thinking certain things - especially if we think them out loud - makes us look in the eyes of ‘polite society’.
But I say fuck that noise!
As we grow up, we are told, taught or guided to think and act a certain way.
This is achieved through the guise of ‘helping us grow into well behaved, high-functioning adults, capable of blending seamlessly into society (i.e., the status quo paradigm)’.
I’ve come to realise that the whole ‘for your own good’ spiel - often offered to us in the form of (unsolicited) advice whenever we were reprimanded for doing something ‘reprehensible’ as children - was never actually for our benefit. It was always for the benefit of the adult - the person in a position of power or authority over our lives.
As it is in childhood, so it is in life.
Much of what we have been taught, told or coerced into believing, as well as accept as incontrovertible truths, are simply outright lies fed to us so that we can become complaisant, pleasant and malleable.
That is why holding such thoughts as ‘I fucking hate people’ or identifying as a misanthrope is so detestable. Because it disarms those who wish to use our kindness against us.
It’s not so easy to manipulate those who aren’t utterly, consistently amicable. That’s why ‘agreeable’ people do so well in traditional employment (more so in terms of ‘holding down’ a job, than ‘moving up’ in one)… because they don’t talk back.
They don’t fight against injustice, or call out bullshit when presented with it. These people are easy, and nice, and kind; well-liked, but seldom respected.
I don’t often agree with Jordan Peterson, or think very highly of his opinion on some topics (an article for another day, I suppose), but I found this lecture on ‘agreeable people’ quite interesting:
“Agreeable people do not like conflict”
This was me - and in many ways still is. While I attempted to navigate the difficulties of my own life, I gave myself the additional burden of placating the world around me (an impossible goal, for sure).
You see, as an agreeable person, I placed ‘social acceptability’ at the forefront of my behaviour throughout my life, which I’ve now come to discover has had a disastrous impact on my success and wellbeing.
As an agreeable personality, my inclination was to blame myself for every single shortcoming I’ve ever encountered. But, having committed myself to scrutinising my instincts, I think the answer is far from that simple.
In fact, at this juncture, I’ve reached the upsetting conclusion that my personality, although predisposing me to manipulation and exploitation, is not the problem. The problem is the likelihood and propensity for others to manipulate and exploit, compounded by the fact that society (through the status quo) is geared to reward those who do and punish those who do not.
And sometimes we are doubly punished. We refuse to take advantage of others while we are, ourselves, taken advantage of.
You could say that this has all left me bitter - hence, the ‘hating people’ thing. But, even if you’re correct in your assessment, it shouldn’t detract from this one simple truth, which is that:
People Fucking Suck!
I’m sorry, but this is just a fact.
People who wish to maximise their own best interests will, without a doubt, do so at the expense of others (including lying, manipulating and hurting them); and
Most of us have become so brainwashed by the status quo - and are seemingly incapable of holding a single independent thought - that we end up becoming conduits of, and willing participants in, a society built on apathy, falsehoods and sometimes even cruelty.
And, if you think this is a call to move from being ‘the exploited’ to becoming ‘the exploiter’, then you have missed the fucking point!
This is a call to wake. the fuck. up!
You can be a good person without wolfing down every last mouthful of bullshit they feed you.
“It's Easier to Fool People Than It Is to Convince Them That They Have Been Fooled.” – Mark Twain.
As a child - and even long into adulthood - I simply did what I was told, believed all the lies and integrated a fuck-ton of blame, shame and guilt along the way.
By giving others the benefit of the doubt, I convinced myself that since they can’t all be wrong, then the issue must lie within me.
Every time I said, did or thought something others disagreed with or dismissed, it was me who was damaged, stupid and naive… they always knew better and I would do well to just shut the fuck up and listen.
If you leave your childhood never fully scrutinising your beliefs, attitudes and values, then you are certainly not living an authentic life.
This is why so many of us are miserable and unsuccessful. We failed, neglected or refused to do our proper due diligence and, therefore, have become incapable of reaching reasonable conclusions based on solid evidence.
Our parents fucked us up… but so did theirs them… and so it will be until we break the cycle.
I’m not saying that the status quo is inherently wrong or bad. What I’m suggesting is that accepting it without question is what is wrong and bad. And, since most people operate this way - like fucking mindless zombies - I’ve come to sincerely fucking hate them.
They piss me off! Hell, the version of me just five years ago would’ve pissed me off. And, I sure as shit know that who I am now - the values & beliefs that I’ve adopted, the opinions I hold, the fact that I am willing to lose friends and upset people to stand up for truth and justice - is bound to infuriate and offend most people… because most people are fools, and I can no longer bear to suffer them.
I’m confident that I, too, am a fool… in most things, most of the time. But I am also confident that I’m not obligated to suffer those whom I find insufferable.
Most people are either on the take, or are being fucking taken (without protest or provocation, I might add). Very few of us look beyond our upbringing to become well-adjusted individuals. And, by well-adjusted I mean: ‘able to be a decent human being and stand up for what is right and what is real, especially when doing so flies in the face of what is socially acceptable’.
In the past, I thought I was duty-bound to say nothing if I had nothing nice to say… but to what end?
I’d rather be alone than forced to tolerate company who’d prefer I remained silent than shatter the illusions of their fragile reality.
I fucking hate people… because we live in a world where communicating inconvenient truths is not only bad and wrong but also, quite frankly, unacceptable.
That’s just not the way things are done around here.
A Benevolent Misanthrope
Although I don’t much care for people - most people, at least - as individuals, that doesn’t mean I hate humanity.
I have hope.
“Highly intelligent, highly successful and highly creative people - typically highly dopaminergic people - often express a strange sentiment: they are passionate about people, but they have little patience for them as individuals. ‘The more I love humanity (in general), the less I love [humans] in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, yet I am incapable of living in the same room as anyone for two days together. I become hostile towards people the moment they come close to me.’ - Theodore Dostoevsky. ‘I am a misanthrope, and yet utterly benevolent; have more than one screw loose, yet am a super idealist who digests philosophy more efficiently than food.’ - Alfred Nobel. ‘I love humanity, but I hate people!’ - Edna St. Vincent Millay. ‘I love mankind, it’s just people that I can’t stand!’ - Charles M. Schulz.” - an extract taken from the book, ‘The Molecule of More’, by Daniel Z. Lieberman MD.
I consider myself a ‘benevolent misanthrope’.
I have previously expressed this sentiment, somewhat awkwardly, as follows:
“I have faith in humanity - those of us who care about ourselves & others enough to want to improve our circumstances and leave this world better off just for having had us in it.
I, unfortunately, cannot have faith in most humans, individually.
I suppose you could say that I'm somewhat of a misanthrope. Because humans have - collectively & throughout history - proven to be greedy, selfish & cruel. I shall live my life in opposition to this destructive mindset - being ‘the status quo position’; the ideology that most of us subconsciously promote because of generational indoctrination - but I do not trust that a significant portion of the human race will change in time to prevent the annihilation of our species. And, for the sake of this planet and the other creatures with whom we share it, our untimely extinction cannot come soon enough.
This is not an argument in support of apathy, but rather a call to become an active player in life - to do more & be better - instead of remain a passive participant in a society that values immediate gratification over building a legacy of which our descendants can be proud.
I firmly believe that, for as long as we act out of fear, indifference & desperation, the wheel of time will keep turning in favour of those who have figured out how to get other people to turn it...
And, guaranteed, the innocent will suffer greatly for the privilege.”
Although I may have mixed the language around a bit, the general idea remains.
If you feel the same way, just know that your feelings are valid.
There are great reasons to be a benevolent misanthrope, not least of which being that the way we have (seemingly) always done things, is likely not the best way. Yet far too many people are willing to defend the status quo, even if it hurts others - and kills them - in the process.
Conclusion
I’m not sure if I’ve put my point across very well in this post.
So here is my last-ditch attempt at giving a clearer picture of my position.
I fully believe that I have been duped. I have been lied to, guilted, shamed and insulted into accepting things as they are, instead of being allowed the opportunity to decide whether I want to remain a silent participant in this shit-show of a circus.
It’s astonishing how many granted facts about reality are simply not true.
It is even more astonishing how, when presented with the truth, many people would rather march on in ignorance.
These same people will even get violently offended should you express an opinion that contradicts everything that they’ve been told to believe their whole lives.
Instead of meaningfully engaging with these topics, most will get defensive, argue fallaciously and throw a tantrum because they want to keep doing what they’ve always done, not because it’s correct and true, but because to question it would be to accept that they’ve lived their whole lives on autopilot.
So, they dig down and would rather die on some weird hill for reasons they cannot fully appreciate, than grow into mature adults for the first fucking time in their lives.
Seriously scrutinise the seemingly trivial shit you do in your life, and I’m confident that you will realise you haven’t actually made the conscious decision yourself. Rather, these are things you do based purely on your misplaced trust in society. You think, act and behave in accordance with the dictates of your family, friends & peers, who have convinced you that this is how things are done around here; who are, themselves, likewise convinced.
And I’m here to tell you that those who live life unconsciously in this way are not living for themselves, but are living for other people, and they will never find true success, happiness and fulfilment.
Now that I’m doing the hard work of rewriting the status quo narrative - insofar as it pertains to my own life - I can finally see the cracks that everyone seems to be scrambling in desperation to cover up with masking tape.
Problems don’t simply disappear when we ignore them or sweep them under the rug.
And too many of us are so desperate to ignore shit simply because it is convenient, or easy, or pleasurable in the moment, or the ramifications too distant & abstract to fully concern them.
And that is why I fucking hate people!
Not because they are willfully immoral or blatantly obtuse, but because they are indifferent to their own plight, as well as the suffering they cause in their mindless pursuit of immediate gratification; because they are so eager to defend the indefensible, when the alternative would require active opposition.
I fucking hate people, because they hate them-fucking-selves!
Related & Relevant Resources
Jordon Peterson - Agreeable and Disagreeable People, by Psychology Insight (YouTube); and
What is Agreeableness, by 123test (website).
Shameless Self-Promotion
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And, if you suffer from insecurity, uncertainty, or social anxiety, and find yourself trapped living a life on other people’s terms at the direct expense of your own best interests… then you can find great resources at The Public Server, a website and blog I designed to help you take the steps necessary to both escape a mediocre existence as well as build a life of excellence.
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